Wife: Please say the three magical words to me?
Husband (angrily): Not in a mood.
Wife: Please.
Husband growls back: Talaq! Talaq! Talaq!
And thus ends a happy marriage!!
Is the divorce system so frivolous in Islam? Do couples really get separated with the utterance of the three ‘talaqs’?
The debate and controversy around the same has been making headlines for quite a long time. Have men been given such powers that they can separate with their wives by merely uttering three words? And now with talaq happening on Facebook, WhatsApp, emails, the law has been shunned by all.
Knowing the sensitivity of the topic, we decided to speak to six popular Muslim actors to delve deeper into the subject.
The celebs have always stood for the right and this time too do not mince words while talking about this burning topic.
Stating that people do not have any clear thoughts about the divorce system, Iqbal Khan says, “Talaq is allowed by Allah, but he detests the same. If you read the Quran and the Hadees, there are loads of dos and don’ts around the talaq procedure, which people are unaware about. And without knowledge if people comment on something, it doesn’t mean the religion is wrong. Now coming to the procedure, a man can go for talaq only if his spouse has done something unforgiving. The first talaq is a warning that she won’t do it again. If it happens again, the second talaq happens and beds are separated and finally if it continues then the man can let go of his wife. So, it is about giving your partner three chances.”
Hasan Zaidi further explains, “Triple talaq happens with a minimum of two years time frame. With first talaq, the bed and with the second, the rooms are separated. A couple is given enough time to reconcile. Only people who do not know the law or uneducated Muslims believe that by just saying talaq thrice, a couple gets divorced. The trend of talaq on Facebook, via email or phone is not in the Islamic law.”
Sana Amin Sheikh believes that the entire talaq procedure is made in such a way that people would not opt for it. “Not many also know that Islam discourages divorces and hence a couple is given time to rethink about their relationship. Uttering the words by a husband/wife even in a conversation is not considered good. Also post divorce, if a couple wants to get back together they have to follow a hard rule wherein a woman has to marry another man, consummate and then divorce her second husband before getting back to the first. That is a kind of punishment which ie meant to deter people from divorcing. Once a person is clear of the procedure, there would not be much confusion.”
Giving a solution to this, Shafaq Naaz says, “The patriarch of the society needs to educate themselves and open their mind of gender equality. Only because women are considered a weaker sex that such injustice prevails. A woman should be given equal rights and power to be able to stand up and question if she experiences any wrongdoings upon her or in her surroundings.”
The actors also feel that the current situation has much to do about the rise of controversies. As Mohsin Khan quips, “It is a debate that has taken up a storm. It is a very religious topic in our country and needs to be dealt sensitively. I think most people who are talking about it are yet to check the facts of Islamic laws and I think half knowledge is perilous than no knowledge. I really feel that people misuse and make fun of laws that were made to help us . Giving a talaq is not a game that you do it for fun. The entire family is involved and the process is quite a long one. People are also shunned from going in for divorces.”
Hasan here adds, “Islam, currently over the world is at a delicate stage and a lot of people are misusing and misunderstanding it. It is a religion of peace. But there have been many miscreants who use the religion and its laws for their own benefits. It is thus our responsibility to spread the broader message of Islam to everyone.”
Shafaq echoes his thoughts and states, “People have made fun of the rule and used it for their own convenience. I think if people go by face value and ask for divorce by saying the word talaq thrice, then they should also be the one who must promote rules that say kill rapists or murderers. Why take up only laws that you feel will benefit you? Uneducated Muslims misuse the divorce and polygamy law and that is sad.”
And here comes a twist. People might not believe, but women too are allowed to opt for divorces. As Sana states, “There is a system called tafwid, where a woman can also seek talaq. So, it is an equal force. I don’t believe in giving strength to one party and people who do not know the law, would only do so.”
Here, Sara Arfeen Khan gives a clearer picture that Islam does empower its women, but time has changed everything. “Next time if you read or forward any troll, remember that whoever created is a half baked illiterate. Let me tell you what my father used to tell everyone, quoting from Holy Quran. He said that Islam has been most modern towards women right from the beginning of its inception. Islam from the early days has maintained that you need to educate girl child, give equal rights in parental property and that she has the right to chose and leave her life partner. Sadly, like it had happened with all religions and across eras, men have moulded the already riddled religious books according to their needs and comfort. That’s the hard truth for all religion, all countries and across eras,” she avers.
Concluding the discussion, Hasan says, “One who has just heard or informed about it should first refer to the Quran. And it is not just about Islam, if you need any clarification about any religion you need to check its books and gain right knowledge and information. Don’t just believe what TV channels, newspapers say as they can be a mouth piece to a lot of people. Understand yourself and spread the right message across so that people don’t lose faith on humanity.”
Well, next time if you indulge in a conversation about talaq, you know your facts!
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