The real Rajeev Khandelwal

Rajeev, better known as Sujal of Kahiin To Hoga, bares his heart in an exclusive tete a tete Outside, it's a foggy, rain drenched twilight at Goregaon's Sankraman Studios. Within, however, it's a warmth induced by bright lights, loud noises and a flurry of activity on the Kahiin To Hoga sets. The sharp contrast is much like KTH's protagonist Sujal's own self. "I can't take Sujal out of me," grins Rajeev Khandelwal, as he relaxes with a cigarette between shots. In person, Rajeev is a self-effacing guy next door, hardly the hunk who's supposed to be having girls throwing themselves at him. Once the cameras train on him though and Rajeev turns into Sujal, there is a radical change. There may be no rippling muscles to show and riveting dialogue delivery to crow about, but the Sujal magic works from the eyes. And Rajeev knows it. "My eyes are my strength," he admits. The fan craze seems to keep growing, spreading to Pakistan, Maldives, Canada....Rajeev shakes his head in disbelief. "Sometimes, I can't believe this is happening to me, who came to Mumbai two years ago as a struggler!" But happening it is. Middle aged women send him embroidered shirts, Pak fans offer him intricate kurtas to wear in KTH and latest, when he was leaving the Maldives, women threw gold rings and bangles at him to get his eye. "I can't behave like a star just because of so much attention," he says, "There have been times when my friends tell me to start behaving like a star...but I think my work has to speak for me..." Still in his late 20s, this boy from Jaipur hasn't had it easy. He's sold gemstone paintings for a living, worked the studios daily to get modeling assignments, and auditioned hundreds of times till Balaji Telefilms happened. But Rajeev takes it all in his stride. "I know it is the character of Sujal that makes me look good. Otherwise, how come no one thought I was a winner when I was struggling in Mumbai two years ago?" While the female fans rave about his looks, Rajeev worries about the shape of his nose. "I am still insecure at times," he avers. Ironically, this insecurity is cloaked in a veneer of confidence. "You won't believe it, but my college principal had told me years ago, that I was this peculiar blend of overconfidence and inferiority complex!" he laughs. Those were the days when Rajeev got selected for the lead role in a Doordarshan serial Nandu Ka Chiraag, but was not allowed by his father to skip school for two months for the shooting. "I locked myself in a room and in extremely filmy style, tore up the script, tears rolling down my eyes," he laughs at the memory. A strict army background ensured that Rajeev had to take up science in college, but he fibbed and skipped out of an engineering course in order to join a college that allowed him more co-curricular activities. When his father finally threw him out of the house, tired of Rajeev's apparently goalless life, he tried his luck in Delhi, ending up making nearly 40 documentaries for Abhinav Chaturvedi's company. "I even stole footage from some of Tom Cruise's films to save money," he recalls laughingly. Money of course, is not a concern today as much as the adulation is. "I still seek appreciation, it sounds silly, but I am watching from my rear view mirror, out of my sunglasses to check for people's reaction to me. If they are indifferent, I start worrying that the show's TRPs are dipping!" Paranoia? Probably not. On the personal front, Rajeev is fending off the specter called Sujal. Marriage is out for the moment, and as for flings, he worries that the girl probably loves him for being Sujal rather than for being himself. So, he prefers to play squash after shoots and prefers to unwind by going to the kitchen and whipping up a creative meal for himself. "I have been cooking for myself for the last six months, and I do it even when I go home to Jaipur," says this fitness freak, who prefers to munch on sprouts during shoots rather than binge on gravy rich lunches. His favourite recipe? "Just make dalia, add all possible vegetables and a pinch of garam masala, and you will get the tastiest and nutritious meal you wanted." He wants to indulge in creative writing, when he has the time, and doesn't know if he is ready for films. KTH will continue as long as the journey is good, he says, and wards off queries about on screen relationships that are probably blooming into off screen ones. "Right now, I am too self-centred, and no lasting commitment could accept that," he says matter of factly. Life has gone out of Rajeev's hands and is being shaped by Sujal's destiny, currently.