MUMBAI: “I have led a full life. I don’t have any regrets except that I didn’t take care of my health, which I should have. And, I am paying a price for it. But not to worry, I will live long.” It was a promise (late) actor Ashiesh Roy would often make to his sister Conica Halder. But unfortunately, he couldn’t live up to it as the 55-year-old passed away following kidney failure on this Monday.
“A lot of people must have dismissed Ashiesh’s death as a rumour because it was so sudden. I have not been able to accept it either, as I had spoken to him even on the day of his demise,” a shattered Conica shares the same a day after she bid farewell to her younger brother.
Recalling the events of that day, she shares, “He was scheduled to undergo a dialysis that morning. He said that he was feeling weak, and when I asked him to call the doctor, he told me not to worry. I don’t think his (domestic) help understood the seriousness of the situation. Upar se, in case of emergencies, Ashiesh would always ask that boy to not inform me as I live in Kolkata. If I had been informed, I could have called a doctor and an ambulance in time and he could have been given oxygen support. But, that call wasn’t made to me. His dialysis technicians told me that he didn't turn up that day. They also said that they could have saved his life, had he contacted them soon.”.
Conica said that Ashiesh’s health had started deteriorating since 2017, after their mother’s death. “He was devastated after she passed away. She used to stay with him and he missed having her around, her haath ka khana… House-helps cooked whatever they wished to and his food habits became irregular. That affected his health, and he developed hypertension and blood sugar. I would always tell him to keep his sugar levels in check, as that affects the kidney and eyes. He was also a bit depressed and started cutting off from his friends at that point. In May 2020, he suffered from renal failure but overcame it. When I visited him last month, he was thinking of a kidney transplant, which was overruled by his doctor. Ashiesh was very particular about his dialysis and never missed it. He was planning to move to Kolkata and stay near me, and was just waiting for his flat in Mumbai to be sold.”, she reveals.
In fact, it was Conica’s idea to have him relocated to Kolkata. “I was planning to come to Mumbai in December again and take him with me to Kolkata in January 2021. The plan was to celebrate Christmas and New Year in Mumbai and then move to Kolkata just before my daughter's school reopens, whether his flat is sold or not.”, she shares.
Conica remembers Ashiesh as someone who shouldered all the responsibilities of the family. “Once mom left us, there was a vacuum in his life. We wanted him to get married, but since I was the older sibling, he wanted me to get married first. We had lost our father at a very young age, and he fulfilled that responsibility as well. When I met him last, he told me that if he had done one good thing in life, it was to get me married.”, she recalls.
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However, she regrets that she couldn’t see him settle down. “He would tell me that he didn’t want to marry anyone from the industry, probably because of the uncertainties of the profession. My husband and I sent him many proposals from matrimonial sites, but he kept on dilly-dallying. Later, he told me that he was an independent soul and wasn’t sure about sharing his space with someone else.”, she says, adding that he did have a serious relationship in Mumbai, but it ended years ago. “It fizzled out in 2006, following a courtship of a few years. They were living together and he was quite serious about her. My mother was also staying with him back then. The girl was much younger than him, and I used to tell him to handle his relationship with a lot of care. I thought it would culminate in marriage, but that was not to be. Ashiesh told me that she wanted to stay separately, but our mom was diagnosed with breast cancer around the same time and he wanted to look after her. I think that was one of the reasons they drifted apart.”, Conica says.
Coming back to the present, ask her if she is upset that only a handful of people turned up for his funeral, and she replies, “Not at all. I don’t think Ashiesh would have liked too many people either. When I saw his body, he looked as if he was asleep. There was peace and calm on his face. I am thankful to his friends, including (actor) Sooraj Thapar, who took care of him during his renal failure, when I couldn’t fly down due to the lockdown.”.
Talking from her brother’s now empty flat in the city, she breaks down. “When I landed in Mumbai, I messaged my husband saying that this time around, I am not looking forward to stepping into his flat. I keep looking around this house, at his picture. I don’t want to shed tears because he had enjoyed his life. I am feeling a strange emptiness as I sit on his bed.”, she says.
“He would always say that he would live for another few years to see my daughter get married. But, he didn’t wait for anything. Ashiesh had a lot of shoots lined up, but I don’t have the heart to tell anyone that he is no longer with us. I can’t utter those words.”, she signs off.
Credit: Bombay Times
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