MUMBAI: Bode Miller is sharing his story with his castmates on season 2 of Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test.

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While talking to other contestants about his family, Miller, 45, mentions his late daughter Emeline ("Emmy"), as seen in an exclusive clip shared with PEOPLE. Emmy died in a drowning accident at 19 months old in June 2018.

"It was brutal. She let herself out the back door and jumped right into our neighbor's pool," he says, as he begins to cry.

Someone asked how Miller "deals with something like that," to which the bereaved dad, 45, replies, "It does not go away."

Kelly Rizzo, who was married to the late Bob Saget, adds, "It's such a weird thing that I never knew until you grieve is that you feel guilty for feeling happy. Even if you have a moment of happiness, you're like, 'Oh my god, am I going to get judged for feeling happy? I shouldn't feel happy.'"

"It's so conflicting," Miller agrees. "It's one of the strangest things."

In addition to Emmy, Miller is dad to daughter Scarlet Olivia, 21 months, 3 ½-year-old twin boys Asher and Aksel, plus sons Easton, 4, and Nash, 7, with wife Morgan Miller, as well as son Nate, 10, and daughter Dace, 14, from previous relationships.

In June, the Olympian marked five years since Emmy's death in a heartfelt tribute on Instagram.

"It’s been five years," wrote the skiier. "On the night of her birth, our midwife @lindseymeehleis noted that Emmy was 'here to change the world.'"

"5 years after her loss, I can see it. Emmy was fearless, determined and fierce from the moment she was born," he continued. "We miss you Emmy. 19 months was never going to be long enough to hold you in our arms."

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Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test airs at 9 p.m. ET on Monday on Fox.

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Credits - People