I haven’t slept for the past four days

A page from the personal diary of Meghna Malik It has been four days since I heard the news that my serial (Na aana iss des laado) is facing the heat from the Haryana government. I haven’t slept ever since. From what I was told I have gathered that people in Haryana have complained that the serial is detrimental to the interests of the state. Post this development I was instructed to not speak the way I have been doing so far in the serial and now I am to speak in Hindi. This diktat has killed me. An actor’s job is to bring in the flavour to suit the character. And I was doing just that. Dressed in a ghagra and shirt and coming from the village the story is set in how can I look authentic speaking in Hindi? In fact I have put in close to 15 hours a day on my work. And my role as Ammaji has been loved and appreciated by people from all over. Strangely I have received calls from people in Haryana appreciating my work and some go as far as to request me to repeat dialogues from the show. I don’t think television has ever been taken so seriously. For God’s sake it is just a character. People know this is acting. Everybody also knows that it is a fictitious village where the story is set and it even bears a fake name. What saddens me is that the character is loved by viewers. People from even across the border call me and praise my work. Asking us to change the way we speak or mellow down on the show is a clear violation of democracy and is a great disrespect to an artist. I live this character for so many hours in a day and I am so passionate about Ammaji that it pains me immensely when I am told to compromise on the language. I really think people should be more liberal in their approach to artistic expression. Every woman has a history. And therein lies my conviction. Having to find the middle ground on the expression is so far fetched. This is like telling a singer to sing out of tune or asking a dancer to dance out of step. It saddens me even more as I myself am from Haryana. I have been born and brought up there. I have then moved on to Delhi and UP and hence know all Northern languages. So I can say with conviction is that what I am speaking in the show is not pure Haryanvi. So why the objection? All I can hope for is that things work in our favour. And I regain my artistic liberty that I am currently deprived of.